Bouncing back: how resilience will transform your life

I have had to dig deep recently to become more resilient both at home and work.

It’s tempting to put your head on your desk, sob, and say it’s impossible to move forward when things go wrong and seem unjust, but life is short so we can either let external pressures get the better of us or we can stand straight and learn from experience. This means we can only be stronger and wiser the next time we’re faced with an unwanted challenge.

So, what is resilience?

It is an amazing quality that is akin to magic because when we master resilience our lives, both professionally and personally, are deeply impacted in the best way. It’s the ability to bounce back to overcome challenges and be willing to go with change which is not always a smooth path.

Today there is even more reason to build up our resilience, the fast-paced world that’s even more frantic with social media platforms surrounding us. is awash with a bombardment of information and opinions that can be difficult to block out. The remarks and posts don’t even need to be aimed at you personally, for them to sometimes have a detrimental impact on emotional well-being.

To understand how to become more resilient, it’s important to get behind the idea that it’s not about being immune to stress, let’s face it who could be? It’s about how we respond to difficult situations with both our bodies and minds. It takes time to find the space to develop our brains psychologically so that we can cope with difficult situations and come out stronger when they are over.

There are three areas to resilience that really help cement it in place and they are:

Persevere

Sometimes, it may seem illogical to return to a situation that has the potential to cause harm. However, there are times when we must persevere and face our fears head-on. It's important to tap into our inner tenacity and work hard to change the negative strategies and mindsets that may be holding us back. Viewing the situation from different perspectives can also help to reduce stress and anxiety. By taking these steps, we can overcome obstacles and achieve our goals.

Be optimistic

There are people in the world who are always going to be a glass half empty but don’t be that person if you want to build up your resilience and move forward. Know that whatever hurdle you are facing is temporary, everything comes to an end – good and bad - so know that you will get through it.

Self-reflect

To be truly resilient you need to have a good understanding of how you react to situations and how your thoughts and emotions are triggered. By understanding your own strengths and weaknesses you will know how to cope with a situation that may seem out of your control.

How do we become more resilient?

It’s not going to happen overnight and often when you are in the middle of an anxiety-inducing situation it’s hard to focus on anything other than fight or flight. But when it is over, take a moment to look back and work on how you could deal better with the situation next time.

Try to push yourself to face new challenges (they are almost never as bad as you think they will be) and as painful as they might be, take some time to analyse the setbacks you’ve faced. Focus on the moment that it didn’t go according to plan and then be sure that you know how you could change things the next time.

The most important thing with resilience is to speak to yourself with positivity. It’s all too easy to berate ourselves when things go wrong but you can’t change the past so forgive yourself and move forward.

Last, but by no means least, build a support network around you. By sharing how you feel with people you trust you will feel the burden somewhat lifted. It also helps to hear other similar stories and their positive outcomes so that you don’t feel alone. Get in touch with a non-judgmental friend, family member, colleague or coach and work through with them how to work through the situation you have been through and identify where it could be improved if it were to happen again.

If you would like further information about the accredited coaching that I offer, and how you could be supported and coached in all aspects of your life then please get in touch here.